The Faulty System
My cousin when he was sixteen years old he was punished by my aunt and was not allowed to go outside. My uncle who didn’t know that my aunt punished him just let him go outside. Bobby was heading to K-mart by riding his bike with his friends close to the curb. On his way to K-mart a drunk driver hit my cousin and he was in critical condition at the hospital for one day and then past away. The guy that hit my cousin had been pulled twice before for DUI’s and still didn’t get his license taken away from him. Even when he hit my cousin the guy still did not go to jail for any period of time at all.
The thing that makes me so mad about it is that yea they say that Bobby died in accident and in my opinion is that he was killed by that guy because even know that he had DUI’s before he still chose to go out drinking and still chose to drive. I don’t understand how someone can do that and for the law not even going to do anything about it.
About Me
- Quigs
- My name is william quigley or "BJ" i am from maryland went to archibishop curley and then now attending UMBC.
2 comments:
Overall I think your story is good. The ending doesn't flow right to me though, you might want to think about revising that a little bit. Like 'for the law not do anything about it' or something along those lines.
Watch your word count I think you can elaborate alittle on the story and still get your point out there. A little revising and you got a good story.
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